The Celestial Empire of Holy Spire is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Pope Victoria Francis with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 5.476 billion Spireans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Solium Deae. The average income tax rate is 94.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Spirean economy, worth a remarkable 1,009 trillion Divines a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 184,317 Divines, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes, Pope Victoria Francis's office is running a trade deficit of midnight oil, and group hugs break out during floor votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Spire's national animal is the Imperial Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of Rose.

Holy Spire is ranked 22,794^th in the world and 1,259^th in Balder for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 6,679.78 on the Gilded Widget Scale.